While finishing my first book, it is fairly difficult to keep enough motivation for writing a blog. Yet today I was working on willingness chapter and a story from my childhood came to my mind so I decided to share it.
When I was a child I had a habit of thumb sucking even though preschool was already starting. I knew it was wrong, yet whenever I would feel upset or needed comfort, I did it. I even tried to hide it in preschool but I would still do it every day. I was already five at the time and it was about time to stop. And then one day I was with my mum in a store. That was the time when buying toys was out of the question, but then… there was this teddy bear. Small, orange, with black eyes and a red bow tie. It was love at the first sight. My mum promised me that if I stopped sucking my thumb, she would buy it for me.
I don’t remember this part of the story but my mum told me how she remembers it. She said: One day, I told out loud that no one has any idea how much I would like to just do something else instead of washing those dishes and 5-year-old you turned to me and said “And you have no idea how much I want to suck my thumb now but I can’t”. Then my mum added: In that moment I understood how hard you fight with yourself and how much you are suffering to win over your habit. That day I knew you have a strong character.
That teddy bear is still in Serbia. Lost one eye cause two generations of children played with it constantly. But every time I visit home, it is still reminding me what one person can do even when trying to win over a habit that is comforting, familiar and provides safety at first sight. Somehow the 5-year-old me knew that it is not about fighting with yourself and what you want now but asking yourself what you want the most. They say that is the definition of the true discipline.
We all know what is the habit that stops us from progress, the thing we know it is wrong but that provides us relief and comfort, even for a while. But let me ask you, what is your teddy bear? Cause the only way to win is to know what you want more than anything. And then making a committed decision to go out and get it.