When we work with clients in goal-setting we usually encounter two types of people. The ones who need to learn that they are enough. That they already posses the capacity to go for what they want, even though it seems (to them) they don’t have what it takes. With them usually we explain why in general are all humans able to go for what they want and then we explain the process of decision-making (the one where you need to make a decision first and then start to find resources to achieve what you have decided). We need to make them clear that you cannot make a decision based on your current circumstances. However today we do encounter a great deal of people that watched The Secret and they feel that now they can get whatever they want and they are wondering why the result is not there yet.
In goal setting there is a trick and usually many do not understand the following. Your goal is not even a goal until two things happen. One, you have to start believing that somehow, in some way, you are able to achieve it. This is what we mentioned in the first part. And second, as important as first one – you have to be willing to do whatever is necessary in order to achieve your goal. And by that I do not mean harass other humans or influence anyone else (in any way) other than your self. This thought is dangerous and is responsible for the great deal of violence and manipulation that exists in today’s world. What I mean by this is – you have to be ready to sacrifice your own small pleasures for the sake of achieving your goal. And if you are not ready to do whatever it takes to get to your goal, then maybe you don’t really want it; maybe you just kind of want it.
This means – don’t kid yourself that you care about your fitness if you are not in the gym three times per week. Don’t lie to yourself that you care about your relationship if there is no date night in your calendar for the past four months. Every time you miss doing the thing that needs to be done to be closer to your goal you are a wannabe. Wannabes with time turn into wish I was`s and that is a sad truth. So if you really want to achieve something, you have to be ready to work for it and believe the process.
One of my favourite interviews is with Serbian tennis player, Janko Tipsarevic, who says this about the subject: “…Now, this is might sound a bit silly to some, but the universe will help you when you are determined, though you have to endure. You have to endure and wait for your chance… Still, if you fully decide to dedicate yourself completely, things will begin to unravel – sooner or later.”
Stop asking yourself: what do I want? Ask yourself: what am I willing to give up to get there? And this is where your starting point should be. Good luck.